Being a Mom Boss
It’s a typical Tuesday morning around 7.am. I get my allocations from the syndicate desk, divvy up the shares, and get to work. Great way to start the day and the kids love it when I come in all chipper to wake them up. We do our normal week-day routine, get ready, eat breakfast, and then drop them off for school. In Denver, we have hybrid learning, and it’s interesting. They’ve got two days a week in school three days a week hybrid, meaning distance, or “remote” learning. As with most of us with school-aged children, it’s been an interesting transition, to say the least.
Kids are off learning, and I’m productive at work. Most importantly, my clients are happy. I love what I do, being a Financial Advisor and a proud Mom. On this particular Tuesday, I realize that I had two school conferences that afternoon. As the conferences draw near, all of a sudden, I get the pang of “Mom guilt.” Have I done enough? Are my kids doing okay in school? I think how I might not be living up to the expectations of remote learning. You know that feeling, right?
The first of the two parent-teacher conferences come around. By this time, I have worked myself into a near panic attack anticipating that the teacher might deem me a less than average home-schooler and what other criticisms the teacher might have. I took a deep breath, told myself to buck up, logged into the zoom, and I immediately see the warmest inviting smile on her face. She proceeds to say I want to tell you that Tanner is not like any six-year-old I’ve ever known. He’s not normal. He is so empathetic, the sweetest thing. He is not from this planet. What did you do to create such an incredible child? We know you guys are working so hard, but you have nothing to be concerned about. He’s in line with where he should be.
Wait, what? All this stress and his teacher is providing some of the most positive feedback for my dear sweet six-year-old?
What a huge relief. Up next was my middle child, my sweet, ambitious entrepreneurial spirited nine-year-old. For sure, he’s the one that gets me. His 4th-grade teacher comes on, and right away, she says. I just want you to know, Brayden is the type of kid that made me want to become a teacher. There’s not that many of these kids I’ve met, and I just really am amazed by his exuberance. He is so brilliant, and with his magnetic personality, he’s going to go so far. He struggles to get things done and tends to erase his work, and not believe in himself. And even if it is perfect, he really has a hard time accepting it. That’s the only thing that I really want him to work on.
I bring these up as prime examples of how mom guilt is real. It’s the pressure and expectations we place on ourselves versus the reality for the vast majority of us. We truly are superwomen. Don’t let your idea of being the “perfect mother” deter you from following your passion for your career and your family simultaneously. Being perfect doesn’t exist for anyone, so it’s time to recognize that and realize that it is okay.
As with many businesses in the midst of working from home or sheltering in place, financial services is an industry in transition and changing drastically. Women bring balance and harmony to the work environment as we do in our private lives. I can’t express how much I love being an advisor, connecting with people and watching their financial plans unfold has allowed me down a path to fulfilling my purpose. What other career can you have the freedom and flexibility to be your own boss, make an incredible living, create your own identity and be a role model to both your family and other women who follow? The time is now.